She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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