The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
