ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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