Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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