I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
