They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
