ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
