put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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