Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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