if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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