You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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