sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
