so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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