Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
