Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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