so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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