I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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