i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
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i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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