Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
