So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
