I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
