I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
