why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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