Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
