i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i've created a new STD.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
