So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
