I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
