you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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