Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am spending my child support on dildos
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
