GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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