God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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