Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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