You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
