guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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