i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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