8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
