I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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