im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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