I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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