I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
These tits shall not be calmed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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