I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
