yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
