did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
