I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
