the condom got lost in my hair
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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