my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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