the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize