At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
