I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
