I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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