1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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