i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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