I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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