dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
